The Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Deuteronomy 33:27

Not too long ago, a question was posed to me by a pastor from church: If you were on your death-bed what would you want your friends and loved one’s to know?  I remember the moment well, as it coincidentally happened on the anniversary of my own mother’s last day on earth. So instead of thinking about what I would want to leave my friends and family with, I thought about what my mom left me with.  

In her last week of life she began to question God. I remember looking at her from across the dining room table. She had lost her desire to eat and despair had begun taking over her “Terrific everyday of my life” motto . The silence at the table was broken when she confessed this thought, “Maybe the reason God hasn’t taken me to Heaven is because there isn’t enough room for me.”      

The word ENOUGH made me recall … I’ve heard people question if they are good enough for Heaven, or if there’s  enough evidence that Heaven exists. And now, my mom wonders if there is enough room for her. Well according to the Bible, the Lord has been known to do some pretty incredible things with “not enough”. In Luke 2:7 we are told there was not enough room in the inn for Mary and Joseph. In Matthew14:17 there was not enough food to feed a crowd of 5,000. And in Mark 2:2 there was not enough space in the house where Jesus was preaching to heal the paralyzed man. (being paralyzed from the waist down herself, it is comforting to know that God is willing to raise roof tops for believers like her.)  At the time her comment caught me off guard, “Mom, are you kidding me?” I sat there thinking of how we had spent the last 6+ years (after Dad’s death) reading daily devotionals, attending church and Bible studies, and literally watching the Lord bless and comfort us in ways that could only be God’s doing. So, really?! Why would God bring her this far, to only bring her this far?

 In my feeble attempt to comfort her I said, “Dad was such a gifted carpenter, that I’m sure God has him on the Building Committee and he’s simply not done preparing your mansion yet.” She knew I was (mostly) kidding, but it provided a nice image to rest on for the moment.    

That afternoon as she woke from a nap her eyes remained closed but an evident smile lay over her lips. I asked her if she was ready to get up. She said:

I just had the most amazing dream. I got to Heaven and the Lord was before me in this long white robe. He opened His arms and called my name and covered me within it.

  After that, she never questioned God’s timing or plan for her again. A few nights later, I would tuck her weak, frail body into bed for the last time. She was already on hospice and I knew that any breath she took, may possibly be her last. She must have known as well because her specific request from me was to help her cross her arms over her chest and roll her onto her right side. I obliged, and found some comfort in seeing how peaceful she looked. I asked her if there was anything I could get her before I went upstairs to take a quick shower. She whispered to me,

“No, just leave me here in Jesus’ arms.”

When I returned downstairs, her body was just as I left it, but her breath and soul were gone. I did not feel fear or sadness for I could tell that her last words to me on earth were exactly where she said she was…in the arms of Jesus. There was no doubt in my mind. She had given me the most precious gift: Watching her find refuge in the arms of the One who had just fulfilled His promise.  

Days before, it had upset me to hear Mom question God and the possibility that life on earth is all there is. But it wasn’t until she got real with God, that He could address her fear in a personal and meaningful way. All my life I’ve remained hopeful in the promises of the Bible, believing in my heart that there must be a Heaven and a Heavenly Father who awaits me. I’ve held onto the evidence of His work in my own life as proof that He truly exists. But watching Mom transition from a world full of confusion, pain, and uncertainty into the arms of our All Knowing Loving Lord… now His promise of an everlasting life is irrefutable.  

I stumbled upon this picture that coincidentally showed-up on my social media page. The caption simply read, “Why don’t threads include more images like this one?” It instantly brought me back to that last night I had with her and the perfect picture she left me with: laying on her right side, arms crossed, and Jesus in a white robe covering His arms around her.

Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

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